Doing Life Together

For the record, I am anti-abortion. I believe life starts at the moment of conception and that society has a responsibility to protect that life.

I just don’t think we need to write laws that prevent abortion.

Does that seem contradictory? Let me explain my logic.

We live in a society that views sex as a recreational activity with no limitations. Just turn on a television set if you don’t know what I mean. The idea of abstinence is shot down as ridiculous. I don’t agree that without abortion women are being forced to carry babies (except in the case of rape). If you consent to engage in an activity that is known to cause children, you shouldn’t be surprised if you become pregnant. Both men and women who don’t want to immediately become parents should practice birth control. It’s widely available and free in many places, although it has been known to fail occasionally.

Although some women’s reasons for having abortions seem frivolous (it’s a girl and we wanted a boy), many feel they have no choice. The timing of the pregnancy may mean financial hardship or lost opportunity. Let’s face it, having a little person depend on you for the next 18+ years means a large investment of time, energy, and money.

I hate to say it, but in the almost 50 years since Roe vs. Wade, abortion opponents have done very little to lessen the economic burden of raising children in this country. I have the horrible feeling that the people who are celebrating in the streets today are congratulating themselves that they got their cause through the Supreme Court without giving thought to what this will mean to women who find themselves inconveniently pregnant.

It’s not just their problem, it’s ours.

If we do nothing, more children in this country will grow up in poverty. The divide between the few rich and the many who are not will just grow.

There will be a baby boom, requiring better access to prenatal care and more obstetricians and birth centers. We will need more schools and better funding for them, and more teachers and other staffers who need to be paid a decent salary (which we have been failing to do in many places in the US, especially in my own state of Arizona). We will need better access to child care with good facilities and many more qualified caretakers, so that parents can afford to work. We will need more pediatricians and children’s hospitals. These need to be in place almost immediately. Oh, and it will cost money. Thank you so much, anti-abortion activists, for raising our tax bills.

Not that the government can or will provide all these things.

I am reminded of the African proverb: it takes a village to raise a child.

So I am asking you anti-abortion activists, do you just want everybody else to live by your high ethical standards, or do you really care about women and children and struggling families? Because you have an obligation to be part of the solution. Your activism is just getting started.

What can you do? Give. Give your money and yourself.

• Give to organizations that help families in distress and need. In Arizona (and maybe in your state, too—check your state’s revenue department website to find out) there are state tax credits for donations to organizations like pregnancy centers, food banks, foster care and adoption support, public and private schools. They will cost you nothing (unless you exceed their limits, and shouldn’t you, since you care so much about the babies?), so you have no excuse not to take advantage of them.
• If you are retired, why not befriend a neighbor with kids? Offer to care for their children during the period after school until the parents come home from work. Make them a snack. Help them with their homework. Play board games with them. You will be so blessed.
• Plant a garden so that you can share your tomatoes, zucchinis, and flowers with families who are struggling to put food on the table. I’ll bet you can find someone in your own neighborhood who will really appreciate it.
• When your own kids outgrow their clothes, look for someone who can use them. When our own children were growing up, people often helped us in this way. It was a lifesaver.