Reviews of Ugly Love by Colleen Hoover and The Atlas of Beauty by Mihaela Noroc

Ugly Love by Colleen Hoover

I recently found out that Colleen Hoover is a prolific writer of New York Times bestsellers. I’d never read anything by her, so I bought one book, not realizing that she writes romance. (The title should have been a dead giveaway, but somehow I didn’t notice.) I used to read lots of romance when I was younger, but stopped a couple of decades ago, because, really, it’s pornography for women.

If you don’t want to get all hot and bothered, this is not the book for you.

That said, Ugly Love is very well-written, with fully developed characters, an engaging storyline, and a big secret that kept me reading. (Also, lots of graphic sex scenes.)

Tate has moved to San Francisco where she is studying (not sure exactly what, but it seems to be healthcare related) and working part time (in a hospital, doing something unspecified but which involves weekend rotations). Her brother Corbin says she can live with him until she can get her own place, but on the night when she arrives, the apartment door is blocked by a drunk guy trying to get in. Tate calls Corbin (who is a pilot and won’t be home until the morning), and it turns out this drunk is a neighbor and friend of Corbin’s, and he asks her to let him in, promising that he’s harmless.

The drunk guy is Miles, and after he sobers up, Miles and Tate discover they are very attracted to each other. Except Tate is way too busy for a relationship. And so is Miles, who is also a pilot, and often away from home for multiple days at a time. Miles’ personality is also an obstacle—he’s closed off and emotionally distant.

A few months later, Corbin invites Miles to travel to San Diego with him and Tate to celebrate Thanksgiving with their family. During the weekend, both Tate and Miles are painfully aware of their attraction. Miles insists he doesn’t want to date, doesn’t want to like anyone, certainly doesn’t want to fall in love. They come up with a compromise—they’ll have sex, but Miles makes Tate promise never to ask about his past or to think that they have a future together.  

The book is structured with chapters narrated in the present from Tate’s point of view, alternating with chapters narrated from Miles’ viewpoint six years ago. Little by little, we learn about the trauma Miles suffered that makes him incapable of commitment. Actually, when I finally knew his whole backstory, I didn’t think there could be a happy ending for these two. There are too many tragic interchanges, too many barriers to a healthy relationship.

However, there is a twist at the end that I didn’t see coming—and that’s all I’ll say, because I don’t want to spoil it for you.

The Atlas of Beauty: women of the world in 500 portraits by Mihaela Noroc

A friend of mine showed me breathtaking photographs on the Facebook page called The Atlas of Beauty. When I saw that there was a book of these photos, I checked it out, expecting it to be very expensive. It turns out the price is quite reasonable, so I bought it.

Noroc is a multilingual resident of Bucharest, Romania. She spent four years traveling through 50 countries to put together this project.

The photos are gorgeously composed and the subjects are diverse. Some of the women are supermodel beautiful; others exemplify inner beauty. Many wear traditional ethnic costumes.

The layouts are interesting as well, with satisfying juxtapositions. Some photos are accompanied with a story about the woman pictured; others with just the location.

Whether you love looking at attractive women or appreciate excellent portrait photography, you will enjoy this book.

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Quote of the Day

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Video of the Day: The Benefits of a Creative Practice and How to Start One

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Telephonophobia

telephone

I dread making phone calls.

I don’t know why.

But of all the tasks I put off, making phone calls is definitely the most common one.

I used to enjoy talking on the phone. For example, I gabbed to Greg for hours on the phone when we were dating. When I was young, if I called a friend, I was guaranteed to talk for a good hour. And occasionally, I still do.

But right now, there are two relatives whom I haven’t spoken to in a long time, and I really should check in. But I don’t want to. One of them is hard to talk to, but the other is a delight. So why can’t I at least make the second call? Beats me.

I also have three business calls to make. I keep putting them off.

Twenty-four years ago I applied for a job in a procurement office, where I started out as a filing clerk and soon took on more responsibilities, including making phone calls to check up on orders. Before my first call I sat and stared at the order for a full ten minutes, gathering courage and rehearsing what I wanted to say. The call went very smoothly, as did 99% of the calls I made during my five years in that position. You’d think that experience would make me a confident caller now, but I can’t shake my reluctance.

Part of it is the time factor. As my husband’s caretaker, my time is fragmented. He could need my help at any moment. I’d hate to be in the middle of a call and need to say, “I’ll call you back.” Sigh. Two calls instead of one. Also, if the other person is talking, I’m not good at breaking in and saying, “Sorry, I gotta go.”

I don’t know what the rest of my problem is. Fear? Maybe, but of what? That the callee will find me tedious or annoying?

I googled telephonophobia and see if it is a real thing.

It is.

According to BetterUp, some common emotional symptoms of phone anxiety include:

  • You avoid making calls or having others call you
  • You delay answering calls
  • You obsess about what you’ll say before the call and what was said when it’s over
  • You worry about embarrassing yourself
  • You let anxious thoughts take over, thinking you’ll receive bad news

Yep, that’s me. At least the first and third symptoms, and the others occasionally.

The article also says that it’s a very common affliction. A 2019 study revealed that 76% of millennials suffer from it, as well as 40% of baby boomers (that would be me).

Here’s how BetterUp recommends dealing with telephonophobia:

  1. Pick up the phone.
  2. Smile.
  3. Afterward, reward yourself.
  4. Don’t overthink it.
  5. If the phone rings and it’s someone you don’t want to talk to at the moment, you can always let it go to voicemail.

Now it’s your turn. Do you ever suffer from phone anxiety? How do you deal with it? Share in the comments below.

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Quote of the Day

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Flower of the Day: Sunflowers

These remind me of this painting by Vincent van Gogh:

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Wordless Wednesday: Can You Find the Dragonfly?

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Why Don’t We Do What We Know Is Good for Us?

(Not me. Not my pool. Photo by Connor Baker on Unsplash.)

I swam in our pool yesterday.

Every time I do, I ask myself, why don’t I do this every day?

I love to swim. I love the sensation of buoyancy, of weightlessness. Using all my muscles releases endorphins. The glow of well-being infiltrates all my cells. Seeing the yard from ground level fills me with gratitude for all the trees and flowering bushes encircling our backyard.

So why don’t I do this every day, weather permitting, since the pool is right here, and I live in a state where it’s always sunny and warm enough to swim from April through September?

Laziness. I don’t want to wriggle into my bathing suit. I don’t want to have to take a second shower afterward. (My hair is uncombable when under the influence of chlorine.)

Two of my grown kids come over sometimes to swim. But I think altogether the pool’s been occupied maybe a dozen times this year. And I maintain the pool every few days to keep the water sparkly. A fair amount of time and money go into the pool year-round for it being used the equivalent of less than two weeks.

But it’s not just the pool.

Me at the piano.

The grand piano in my living room has been virtually silent since the beginning of the pandemic. When I retired from teaching in 2014, I played for an hour most days until March of 2020, when Greg had that disastrous surgery from which he never really recovered. My life instantly became very fragmented, in that Greg often needs my help completing everyday tasks. By evening, when I used to play piano, I don’t have much energy left. I miss it, especially when I hear piano music. It makes my fingers itch to play, but I just don’t.

Yours truly hiking at Bryce Thompson Arboretum in 2019.

I was in good physical condition in 2019, because in preparation for a trip to Israel (which never happened, because Greg and I both had health crises that year) I walked almost every morning and hiked most weeks. I know walking is good for me, and I hope I can get back to doing it when the weather cools down, but I haven’t done it regularly in six years.

And I’m overweight. I know why—I eat too much. I enjoy eating. I like good foods, but I also like sweets and snack foods. I know if I replaced my empty carbs with vegetables, I would lose some of this weight, but I don’t. My behavior is clearly self-destructive. I know better, but can’t make myself do what’s healthy. I guess I haven’t hit rock bottom yet.

I’m sorry. Here I am whining. I promise I’ll do better.

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Quote of the Day

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Quote of the Day

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