Doing Life Together

Defusing the Demolition Derby

Posted on July 24, 2015 by Andrea R Huelsenbeck

In my home state of Arizona, some school districts are already in session, while most others will resume within the next three weeks or so. In other parts of the country, summer vacation lasts another six weeks or more, but I thought this might be an opportune time to remind parents about parking lot etiquette.

One of the many additional obligations teachers have is “duty,” or monitoring different locations around campus before and after school hours. For three years at my last school, two days a week I had K-1 parent drop-off duty. That means I supervised the parking lot where the littlest students emerged from their parents’ cars. I called it “Demolition Derby.” (Are you familiar with that term? It refers to a contest in which drivers willfully crash into other cars, causing as much damage as possible. The last driver whose car is still operational wins.)

There is a protocol to dropping your child off at school:

Pull up as far as you can.
Let the child leave the car. (The duty teacher can even open the car door for the child.)
Promptly drive away.

Simple enough, right? Even self-explanatory. The drop-off guidelines are sent home to parents at the beginning of every year, with periodic reminders in the monthly newsletters. But K-1 parent drop-off duty was my opportunity to observe many parents behaving as though rules don’t apply to them. On a regular basis, this is what I witnessed:

Parents stopping their cars as close as possible to the playground, preventing cars behind them from entering the lot. This often causes traffic back-ups on a very busy street.
Parents who park in a no-parking zone to walk their children to the playground, then hang around and watch them play while other parents try to steer around the car that is blocking all progress.
Parents not bearing right as customary in normal traffic, but pulling around cars, stopping on the left side of the drive, and letting their children out to scamper between cars moving forward at unpredictable moments.
Parents who arrange the car seats in their vehicle so that the children can only exit from the driver’s side of the car, so that they have to navigate around the car, risking being hit by a vehicle. These are small children, not easily noticed among SUVs. (Deaths have occurred where parents have run over or backed into their own child. Fortunately, not at my school—yet. What a nightmare, and so easily prevented.) Please, make it possible for your child to leave from the passenger side of the car directly onto the sidewalk.
Parents who, once they’ve stopped the car, now put a sweater or shoes on the child, give extensive directions, or spend several minutes kissing and loving on their kids before letting them out. Please make sure the child is properly dressed before getting into the car. Talk to your child during the drive instead of waiting until you arrive. Express your affection earlier in the day so you can dismiss your kids with a quick peck or a wave when you get to school. The parents who are stranded around the corner waiting to make a left turn onto the school street will appreciate your efficiency.

When I corrected parents about parking lot procedure, some responded with annoyance, as though I were inconveniencing them. Please understand, it’s for the safety of your children that school personnel ask you to follow these rules. It’s not about you. It’s always about the kids.

Posted in School | Tagged Back to School, School Parking Lot Etiquette | 4 Comments

Raising Spiritually Strong Toddlers…by Linda Carlblom

Posted on July 21, 2015 by Linda Carlblom

There are scads of articles on children’s ministry, but most of them deal with preschool or school-aged children. Are toddlers too young to learn about God? No, no, no!

Most toddlers are eager learners. The whole world is their classroom and they’re excited to be in it. Everything is new and fresh. How can you capture this wonder and harness it for God? Can toddlers have a vital faith? I believe they can. Here are five of God’s titles your little one will easily understand.

God the Creator. At every turn, you have opportunities to remind your toddler who made the world.When they bend to sniff a flower, when they see a bug, or the sky blazes with sunset. When birds chirp or dogs bark or the sun shines in their eyes, you can say, “Who made the _______?” They’ll have fun replying, “God did!” You can even follow up with the question, “Why?” and they can answer, “Because He loves me.”
God the Healer. Toddlers regularly fall or bump and get boo-boos. That’s the perfect time to teach them about God’s healing power. Sure, Mommy’s kisses are good, too, but only God can really heal. Make sure they know that His power trumps Mommy’s! Take a moment after applying a Band-Aid to say a quick prayer with your child asking God to please heal their hurt. When you see the injury looking better, remember to point it out to your little one by saying something like, “Look! God’s healing your boo-boo!”
God the Provider. Children often want things they can’t have immediately. That’s especially hard for a toddler since they don’t understand the concept of time yet. When you have to say “not now,” let them ask God for what they want. Tell your child God loves them and will give them only what’s best for them. When the time comes that you can say yes to their request, help them remember to say thank you to God.
God the Family Man. Children, even very young ones, understand families. Make God and His Son, Jesus part of your family. Set a place at the table for them. When a child is sad, talk to them about how God is like a nice daddy who holds them and lets them cry when they need to. Jesus is like a big brother, always there for them, loving them and protecting them.
God the Author. Teach your child that the Bible is God’s Word. It is more special than any other book, so we must treat it with extra care. Let children hold your Bible or buy them their own toddler Bible. Praise them for how gentle they are with it. Open it up and let them “love” the pages by rubbing their hands over them. Tell them God’s Word is always right and true. We want to do what it says because that makes God happy…and it’s the best way for us to be happy, too!

It’s never too early to teach your children about God. Start today!

How have you started teaching your little ones about God?

Linda

Posted in Children's MInistry, Faith, Family Life, Parenting, Teaching, Uncategorized | Tagged faith, God the Author, God the Creator, God the Family Man, God the Healer, God the Provider, spirituality, Teaching toddlers about God, Titles of God, Toddlers | 4 Comments

Friends for Life, Even at a Distance…by Linda Carlblom

Posted on July 17, 2015 by Linda Carlblom

My best friend and shirt-tail cousin, Myra, and her college-aged daughter, Jennie, came for a week-long visit from out of state this week and left two days ago. We’ve been besties for almost 40 years, and have known each other since early childhood. There’s a certain comfort that comes from a friendship lasting that long, a joy that reaches deep.

When we were teenagers we’d lay on the bed staring at the ceiling, eating Red Vines, and talking of our dreams. Today we’re living them. Husbands and children, even grandchildren, are all answered prayers wearing flesh. We even began traditions we do to this day, like eating potato chips with cream cheese and onion dip. Important stuff!

This time, our young adult daughters drove themselves around, enjoying their own budding friendship, and it staked Myra’s and my friendship even more firmly. We know first-hand the blessing of sharing laughter, inside jokes, and simply a history of being young and growing older. I can only hope and pray our daughters can experience such luxury.

For over twenty years, we’ve lived in different states. Keeping a long-distance friendship thriving can be challenging, but a few things have helped Myra and I stay connected and pick up right where we left off whenever we get together.

We use social media. It’s so much easier to stay in touch these days because of Facebook and other social media sites. Often, we’ll see something that reminds us of the other and we’ll post it on their page. It reminds us of our friendship and the history we share.
We aren’t offended if months go by without a phone call or email. Let’s face it. Life is busy, especially when you’re raising kids or caring for elderly parents. Cut each other some slack. Just because contact isn’t made, doesn’t mean you haven’t been on their mind. Be glad they have a full life that keeps them occupied. You’ll hear from them when they need you most.
Share life’s big moments. Whether you have great news to share, or your heart is breaking, share it with your friend. And when the shoe’s on the other foot, be a comforting, listening ear. These are the moments that cement your friendship.
Laugh. Seriously. You can’t overdo this. I’m pretty sure Myra and I spent the first two days of her visit laughing so hard we couldn’t breathe. It’s a wonder we’re still alive. Laughter is great medicine for anything that ails you. An added bonus this year was watching our daughters roll their eyes at us.
Pray. And don’t be afraid to say so. Myra regularly tells me she’s praying for me and often even specific members of my family who may be going through a difficult time. And I do the same for her. Some days it’s a soothing reassurance knowing the small, simple fact that she’s praying. Which, of course, is anything but small.

These steps have served us well for over forty years. They aren’t rocket science. But they make our lives so much richer. Never underestimate the power of a solid, lifelong friendship. Even if it has to be enjoyed at a distance, it’s totally worth every ounce of effort.

How do you keep your friendships alive? Share in the comments below.

Linda

Posted in Doing Life Together, Friendship, Life, Prayer, Uncategorized | Tagged cousins, friendship, keeping in touch, long distance friendship, staying connected, traditions | 7 Comments

Life is Fragile…Handle with Prayer by Betty Mason Arthurs

Posted on July 14, 2015 by Betty Mason Arthurs

Life is Fragile…Handle with Prayer by Betty Mason Arthurs

A ceramic plaque on my refrigerator has this above quote. How can anyone deny that life is fragile?

One day your beloved family member can be diagnosed with cancer and faces surgery and months of follow-up treatment. Your rambunctious boy jumps out of a tree and fractures a leg. You’re grateful he didn’t fall on his head, even if it means your time is consumed with his care. Sometimes if you were to write down all the prayer needs in your family, you could fill a thousand journals. And then there are the needs of the world to fill another thousand books.

I sadly remember the Sandyhook shootings, Boston bombing, Tucson and Denver shootings, and now the Charleston shootings at a church Bible study. Didn’t we all pray for them? If you’re like me, your tears mingled with your prayers. In the flash of gun shots, precious people died.

Can we say, life is horrific, handle with prayer? Life is full of grief, handle with prayer?
Do we remember the scripture John 3:16? “God so loved the world?” He sent Jesus to die on a cross for all.”

It seems like for some, “life is bad, handle with hate.” However, didn’t the family of those killed at the AME church in Charleston teach us a better response? The grandson of 70 year-old Ethel Lance said, “Hate is powerful, but love is more powerful.” Rev. Goff said, “When sister Ethel Lance praised the Lord, you had to strap on your spiritual seatbelt.” In a close knit, church family, members often call one another brother and sister. Someone else said to the killer, “We have too much love in our family to allow hate to come in.”

When did I ever praise the Lord enough to warrant a seatbelt? It’s an astounding image and blessed comfort to her family remembering Ethel Lance as she praised her Lord. It comforts me.

The Bible in the book of John tells a story of the sisters, Mary and Martha, of Lazarus sending for Jesus and what was their message? “Lord, one you love is sick.” Their brother was in a bad way. Jesus, a dear friend, was their only hope for healing their brother and yet Lazarus died before the Healer got to their home. The scripture tells us they went to the tomb and, “Jesus wept.” Gut-wrenching grief gave way to celebration when the Giver of life himself shouted into that tomb, “Lazarus, come forth!” I imagine the dead man, still wrapped in his grave clothes which his friends tore off of him, shouted and danced for joy with his sisters.

When we hear or watch the news on TV each day we have an opportunity to care about others and act in love.
Can we pray into the fragility of life:
“Lord, one you love is sick…bring healing and comfort to those who suffer around the world.”
“Lord, one you love is missing on a hike.…”
“Lord, one you love has been shot….”
“Lord, one you love is with the Marines overseas….”

Yes, life is fragile and there are many times we will not understand the issues of pain, suffering and injustice in this life…only God knows. Psalm 91 says, “He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty…You shall not be afraid of the terror by night.…” We are not immune to danger, disease or disasters, but God promises security in the midst of them. In my family, we can say “amen” to that promise. Many times our family has felt God’s peace when loved ones have died, when physical health disappears in an attack by an insidious disease.

Your silent prayers uttered on tearstained pillows
were heard before they were said.
Your deepest questions were answered
before they were asked.
Max Lucado

Life is fragile…handle with prayer.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged faith, Prayer | 12 Comments

What Is My Calling?

Posted on July 10, 2015 by Andrea R Huelsenbeck

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Hospitable Introvert…by Linda Carlblom

Posted on July 3, 2015 by Linda Carlblom

By nature, I am an introvert. I tend to avoid people and I recharge by having time alone. That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy people when I’m with them. As a matter of fact, most people would be surprised to know that I’m an introvert. Like many, I married someone who is my opposite. Rollin’s extroverted nature more than makes up for my introversion.

Because my husband is so social, I’ve learned to be more social. At first it was uncomfortable. But wonder of wonders, I’ve actually come to enjoy hosting people in my home. It’s something Rollin and I love doing together, and well, we’re GOOD at it! We’ve actually been told we have the “gift of hospitality.” Shut up!

So, for all you introverts out there, who sometimes have to host social events or house people overnight, there’s hope. Here are a few hospitality tips I’ve learned along the introverted way.

No one cares if your house is spotless. If your bathroom is cleaner than most gas station restrooms, you’re good. No one is coming to inspect your housekeeping skills. They’re coming to enjoy your company. And honestly, who wants neat freaks for friends? It only makes them feel like they have to clean to the nth degree when they have you over.
Greet your guests warmly. I usually meet them at the door and give them a hug if I know them, or if not, then a two-handed handshake or one with a friendly pat on the back tells them you’re genuinely glad they’re in your home. The same applies to when you bid them farewell.
Keep it simple. For the introvert, being with people expends energy, leaving you tired. Use paper plates, cups, etc. so you don’t have to spend hours cleaning up when you’re exhausted after having people over.
Have groups of people over rather than just one other couple. Conversations can get awkward or drag with a small group. But with a larger group, you don’t feel the pressure of having to carry the conversation. People can talk with each other instead of just with you.
Serve food buffet style. It’s nice and casual and puts people at ease. Better yet, make it a potluck where everyone brings something to share. It takes some of the pressure off you in a situation where you may already feel stressed. And don’t feel like it has to be a full meal. Snack foods often work just fine.
If you’re having overnight guests, do something to make them feel loved. A mint (or in some of my friends’ cases, a box of Red Vines) on their pillow is a fun touch. Or fresh flowers on their night stand. Or how about a note saying how glad you are they’ve come to visit? Whatever they like, try to make it happen for them. See this lovely picture of a bedroom? My house never looks this good, company or not. Yours doesn’t need to either.
Make them feel at home. By that I mean, let them fix their own breakfast. I usually tell them that at our house it’s pretty much every man for himself. If they get hungry, they’re welcome to scrounge around in the pantry or fridge. Nothing makes me happier than when people come into my home and pull out a glass from the cabinet or dishwasher and pour themselves a glass of iced tea. It means I’ve done a good job of making them feel comfortable in the past. Let them know what’s available for breakfast in case they get up before you. I like to keep bagels, dry cereal, bread for toast, juice, and coffee on hand. Or buy a box of donuts the night before to have ready for breakfast.
Make their bathroom user friendly. Put a hair dryer and curling iron under the sink for their use. Have extra toothbrushes and toothpaste on hand in case your guest forgot theirs.
Don’t live on each other’s schedules. This is especially true if your visitors are from another time zone. If one of you wants to sleep later in the morning or stay up later at night, do it. Accept and respect each other’s need for sleep, or lack thereof. This also gives your introverted self some space and time to recharge if needed.
Be honest. If you’re worn to a nub and everyone else wants to spend the afternoon at the zoo, say you’ll sit this one out and get in a nap or soak up some solitude while they’re gone. No guilt allowed.
Give them an extra key to the house. That way they can come and go without you if they want. You don’t have to spend your every waking moment together, which wears thin on introverts.
Ask for their help. If you need an extra table set up, potatoes peeled, or the patio swept, let them help you. Most people love feeling needed and this makes them feel part of the family.

The only way to take care of your guests well is to take care of yourself. That means making time to recharge and get plenty of rest, even while you have guests. If you do, your company will enjoy their visit even more, and will relax into the comfort of your home, too. Our house has jokingly become known as the Ritz Carlblom because we keep so many visitors overnight and host so many social events at our house. It’s one way we can share our blessings with others. Hopefully, they leave here feeling refreshed and loved.

I pray these suggestions will help you enjoy entertaining your friends no matter your personality type. Just relax and enjoy your company and they’ll relax and enjoy being in your home.

What do you do to make people feel at home when they visit? Share your ideas in the comment section.

Linda

Posted in Celebrations, Entertaining, Family Life, Hospitality, Introvert, Uncategorized | Tagged entertaining, hospitality, hostess, introvert, overnight guests, social events | 3 Comments

Sit. Stay.

Posted on June 30, 2015 by Andrea R Huelsenbeck

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

3 Things American Christians Can Learn From My Mom… by Allison Boley

Posted on June 27, 2015 by Allison Boley

My mom made it easy for me to have a relationship with Jesus.

I figured I should start with the heart of the post instead of a cutesy story (I inserted a cutesy photograph to compensate), because I feel an urgency. Not because of ways the world is changing, but because of the ways many “Christian” responses to world events are disintegrating into fear-filled, knee-jerk battles.

I confess I often find myself angry with these increasingly ignorant responses, but in such moments I can choose to be part of the problem by acting in anger, or I can recognize that criticism does not drive out fear. Only perfect love drives out fear. The only human ever to exhibit perfect love is Jesus, so let’s make it easy for each other to experience perfect love by making it easy for each other to have relationships with Jesus.

Here’s how my mom did (still does) it.

1) My mom kept a singular focus on Jesus.

I tutored math, physics, and chemistry for several years, and once a student asked me if it was possible to believe in evolution and still be a Christian. He was convinced by the scientific evidence for evolution, and he was afraid that meant he was barred from being a Christian because his mom had told him the two were mutually exclusive.

This attitude of “to be a Christian you have to [fill in the blank]” is so pervasive in our culture that we have actually begun fighting for the blanks.

I’m grateful my mom never confused the blanks with the Way. “Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well'” (John 14:6,7a NIV).

My mom encouraged me to know Jesus — to love His Word, to be open with Him in prayer. Certainly she encouraged me to obey Him as well, but she never pretended my actions were the way to the Father. Only Jesus.

2000 years ago, Jesus called out the experts in the law for “load[ing] people down with burdens they can hardly carry” (Luke 11:46b NIV). Let’s not follow their example, let’s follow my mom’s example.

Because my mom exhibited for me this singular focus on Jesus, I was able to answer my student: “Who do you think set up nature to function the way it does? You don’t have to be afraid of any scientific truth you find out. The only thing you have to do to be a Christian is accept Jesus.”

2) My mom never called down Jesus on her side.

I’ve heard of some parents invoking Jesus to get their kids to do their chores. I imagine it would be difficult to form a relationship with someone portrayed as a taskmaster of external, relatively unimportant activities. I say I imagine because I don’t know, because my mom never erected those barriers to a relationship with Jesus. I’m grateful.

While as a culture we may not be so blatantly (or even intentionally) selfish about it, I believe we need to be careful not to call down Jesus on our side in political or cultural issues. Instead, I believe we need to align ourselves with Jesus.

The difference may seem subtle, but I don’t think it is. When Joshua (one of my mom’s favorite biblical figures) was about to lead the Israelites to conquer the city of Jericho, an angel appeared to him. Joshua, not yet knowing it was an angel, asked whether he was for the Israelites or for their enemies. The angel’s answer? “Neither.” Actually, my Hebrew professor tells me this word is more accurately translated simply as “no” in what appears to be a rejection of the question altogether. My professor explains the angel’s answer as, “No! You’re asking the wrong question, dude. Try again.” Joshua’s response? To bow in reverence and ask, “What message does my Lord have for his servant?” (Joshua 5:14a,c NIV)

Instead of accepting evangelical culture’s agenda at face value and calling down God on our side, hitting others over the head with “Clean your room because Jesus wants you to,” let’s instead take a page from Joshua’s book, which is also a page from my mom’s book. Let’s humble ourselves and ask what God wants to say to us.

3) My mom modeled a loving relationship with Jesus.

This is easily the most important of the three, but it is also easily the most prone to misinterpretation. So let me be clear. My mom didn’t try to fake piety so I and my sisters would be good. Nor was the motivation for her relationship with Jesus so that we would have one too. Rather, my mom deeply and genuinely loves Jesus, and I saw it.

And because I saw what a healthy relationship with Jesus looked like, it was easier for me to have one too, when I decided that’s what I wanted.

I pray that as dearly loved people of Jesus, we can make it easier for other dearly loved people also to have a relationship with Him if they decide that’s what they want. I pray that our focus returns to Him alone, that we tear down the piddly barriers our culture has erected, and that we simply and genuinely let Him love us.

And thank you, Mom, for doing that for me.

Posted in Bible, Faith, Fear, Jesus, Mom, Politics | 5 Comments

Sweet Dreams . . . by Andrea R Huelsenbeck

Posted on June 26, 2015 by Andrea R Huelsenbeck

I struggle to get off the ground, but finally I lift off and soar above my little town. I see my home below me, and I head toward school. Some of my friends look up and wave frantically. I know they are jealous, and I relish my superiority—until my lack of focus causes a rapid drop in altitude. I know what will happen next: I will hit the ground in humiliation, or I will wake myself up before I land in shame.

All my life I’ve been plagued by recurring dreams. Sometimes I know the moment I wake up that it wasn’t real. Other times I awaken devastated by horrific images in my brain, and for several minutes I mourn and try to plan what to do next, until finally reason kicks in, bringing relief.

One of my earliest recurring dreams from my childhood makes no sense at all. I am in the attic of my house. A martini glass fills itself with a Silly Putty-like semi-solid liquid. Then the substance overflows and fills the attic, trapping me under its weight. When it reaches a certain level, the glass rings like a bell, and I wake up. Why? Does it mean something? Why did I dream it over and over for years, until it became my most vivid childhood memory?

A dream from my adult life involves getting up early in the morning. I run in semi-darkness through my childhood hometown, several miles to the church and school I attended, and home again. It’s hard to begin running—my feet won’t move without great effort, but suddenly I lunge forward, light on my feet. I ran regularly in my early 30s, but only a daily mile. I tried running again in my 50s, but had to stop due to arthritis. I don’t know why I’ve been dreaming this the last few years, but for a while I believed it was actually happening, and I felt virtuous about running all those miles.

The worst recurring dream I ever had was before I resigned from my last job. I was on the freeway, and my car was going very fast—in reverse. The brake wouldn’t respond to my pressure on the pedal. I tried to turn the ignition off—but I couldn’t find the key, because I was watching the traffic over my shoulder, wrenching the steering wheel from side to side to evade the other cars I was hurtling toward. I woke up with my heart pounding, but it would take time for my panic to dissipate. Sometimes I could not get back to sleep.

Until I finally interpreted the dream.

My last few years teaching were incredibly stressful. Education is undergoing a paradigm shift. Concerns of teachers are ignored in favor of the accountability proposals of legislators. In Arizona, already with the lowest per-pupil funding in the nation, demands for better results coincided with further funding cuts. I vowed I wouldn’t use this blog to rant about lawmakers ruining education. Suffice it to say, I was trying so hard to do a good job at work, but it was never enough. Too many obstacles stood in my way–mandated changes in what I taught and how I taught, and a lack of supplies. My life was out of my control, and there was nothing I could do about it. When I recognized what my subconscious (or God) was trying to tell me, the terrifying speeding backward dreams stopped.

So, was my dream orchestrated my subconscious, that mysteriously perceptive functioning of the brain? Or was it truly a message from God?

The Bible is full of stories about God speaking to individuals in dreams. Joseph in the Old Testament had vivid dreams, and the gift of dream interpretation. Joseph in the New Testament also heard from God in dreams. When God describes the Day of the Lord, he says, “I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions.” (See Joel 2:28 and Acts 2:17.) Clearly, dreams merit attention.

Not that all dreams come from God. I think that most, like the first three I mentioned, are just random images that the brain plays with while we’re sleeping. But certainly God can use dreams as an avenue of communication.

Have you ever had a disturbing dream? Have you ever had insight into one of your dreams? Have you ever felt that God was telling you something with a dream? Please share by commenting below.

Posted in Dreams | Tagged Dreams | 4 Comments

Buying Early Can Be a Good Deal Unless…by Donna Clark Goodrich

Posted on June 23, 2015 by dgood648

Buying gifts early can be a good deal, but before you shell out that money or pull out that credit card, ask yourself the following questions. If the purchase passes all the tests, buy it, then pat yourself on the back for your forethought and thriftiness.

1. Will you have to charge the purchase?

If you have to charge it and you can’t pay the balance when the bill comes at the end of the month, it’s not a good deal. Being Scottish, I have a reluctance to transfer cash from my hand to someone else’s, but credit cards seem easier as I don’t see the cash actually leave my wallet. I heard of one wise shopper who uses a checkbook ledger to keep track of her credit card purchases, keeping an up-to-date balance. It has made her more aware of how much she is charging, and eliminates the end-of-the-month shock when the bill comes.

2. Will you end up spending more than you save?

When I bought my granddaughter a gift at the mall, I received a coupon for $10 off a future $50 purchase. On my next visit to that store, I looked endlessly for something else she would like (and that I could afford) to use that coupon, not wanting to waste it. Then I realized I would end up paying $40 for something she didn’t really want just to “save” the $10. I never did use the coupon.

3. Will you eventually buy another gift for this person?

It’s so easy to buy a gift early for a birthday or Christmas present and later end up buying something else for that person. Don’t do it! One mother had a habit of beginning her Christmas shopping during the back-to-school sales. However, the nearer Christmas came and the holiday ads flooded her mailbox, she would see “one more thing” that friend or relative would like, and every year she ended up going over her budget.

4. Will you be tempted to give it to the person before the actual date?

We have a standing joke in our family that about December 15th, one or both of my granddaughters will come to me and say, “Grandma, I’m so depressed,” hoping I will give them a gift early—and it often works! Or another family member will have a sick day or accomplish something really special and I’ll reach in the closet for one of the gifts I bought. Then I end up having to buy them another present for their birthday or Christmas.

5. Will the person’s size or taste change?

If it’s an item of clothing, the person’s size may change before the actual gift-giving time comes around. Or if it’s a toy related to a popular movie or TV series, the temporary fad may have run its course by the time the birthday or holiday rolls around. A young girl’s desire for Barbie™ items may soon change to New Direction; a boy’s from GI Joe to Star Trek to pirates or Ninja Turtles.

6. Do you have a place to store the item?

Trying to find a hiding place for a large item such as a weight set, or a 25-inch TV can be difficult. Your closet or storage shed can hold only so many bags and boxes so make sure you have a place for these gifts where they won’t be found. (Note: Make sure you remember where you hid them. One year when putting new clothes away, my daughter found a bag of gifts in her closet that she had bought at after-Christmas sales the year before.) Keep a list of what you have purchased and where you hid it. It also helps to keep this list from year to year so you don’t duplicate gifts.

7. Will you be able to return the item if you buy it early?

I bought my daughter a beautiful dolphin necklace one year in September through a mail order catalog. Not until she opened it at Christmas did we discover that the chain was defective. However, the company had a policy of no returns after 60 days. One discount chain in our town will not accept returns after 90 days, even with a receipt, and department stores at the mall are beginning to follow suit.

8. Will the quality deteriorate with time?

Perfume may evaporate, soaps and candles can melt, especially in warm climates. It’s tempting to buy items such as these in the January sales but will they be as appealing a year later?

9. Will the recipients buy the item themselves before the special occasion?

This has happened several times in our family. One year we bought a Christmas present on sale in October that we knew our daughter and husband really wanted. Unfortunately, they wanted one so desperately, they told us they were going to buy one. The one they were going to buy, however, was less expensive and an inferior version of the same product. This necessitated either taking our item back, or telling them we already bought a better one and giving it to them early—which we did in November because they needed it.

10. Is the warranty good only from the date you purchased the item?

If the warranty begins with the actual purchase date, you may lose several months on it, even though the item isn’t opened until a later date. This is especially important on bigger items such as computers and TVs. The merchant you bought the item from in September (or the company which offers the warranty) probably won’t buy your story that the gift wasn’t used until December 25.

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Considering all the above hints, there are times it is a wise idea to buy things when they’re on sale. If you do this, be sure and keep them in a place you can easily locate them. Then you’ll always be ready for an unexpected birthday party, open house, baby shower, or a “just because” gift.