Doing Life Together

I dread making phone calls.

I don’t know why.

But of all the tasks I put off, making phone calls is definitely the most common one.

I used to enjoy talking on the phone. For example, I gabbed to Greg for hours on the phone when we were dating. When I was young, if I called a friend, I was guaranteed to talk for a good hour. And occasionally, I still do.

But right now, there are two relatives whom I haven’t spoken to in a long time, and I really should check in. But I don’t want to. One of them is hard to talk to, but the other is a delight. So why can’t I at least make the second call? Beats me.

I also have three business calls to make. I keep putting them off.

Twenty-four years ago I applied for a job in a procurement office, where I started out as a filing clerk and soon took on more responsibilities, including making phone calls to check up on orders. Before my first call I sat and stared at the order for a full ten minutes, gathering courage and rehearsing what I wanted to say. The call went very smoothly, as did 99% of the calls I made during my five years in that position. You’d think that experience would make me a confident caller now, but I can’t shake my reluctance.

Part of it is the time factor. As my husband’s caretaker, my time is fragmented. He could need my help at any moment. I’d hate to be in the middle of a call and need to say, “I’ll call you back.” Sigh. Two calls instead of one. Also, if the other person is talking, I’m not good at breaking in and saying, “Sorry, I gotta go.”

I don’t know what the rest of my problem is. Fear? Maybe, but of what? That the callee will find me tedious or annoying?

I googled telephonophobia and see if it is a real thing.

It is.

According to BetterUp, some common emotional symptoms of phone anxiety include:

• You avoid making calls or having others call you
• You delay answering calls
• You obsess about what you’ll say before the call and what was said when it’s over
• You worry about embarrassing yourself
• You let anxious thoughts take over, thinking you’ll receive bad news

Yep, that’s me. At least the first and third symptoms, and the others occasionally.

The article also says that it’s a very common affliction. A 2019 study revealed that 76% of millennials suffer from it, as well as 40% of baby boomers (that would be me).

Here’s how BetterUp recommends dealing with telephonophobia:

1. Pick up the phone.
2. Smile.
3. Afterward, reward yourself.
4. Don’t overthink it.
5. If the phone rings and it’s someone you don’t want to talk to at the moment, you can always let it go to voicemail.

Now it’s your turn. Do you ever suffer from phone anxiety? How do you deal with it? Share in the comments below.