Doing Life Together

The Day Milo Went AWOL . . . by Andrea R Huelsenbeck

Posted on September 26, 2014 by Andrea R Huelsenbeck

California King Snake

As I was readying to leave for work one day many years ago, my daughter Erin, then fifteen years old and the last of our children to leave for school in the morning, breathlessly announced, “There’s a snake in my pants!”

Now, in some homes, a statement like that might be alarming. However, in our house, it was pretty typical.

Firstly, my kids tended to keep their clothes on the floor. Secondly, although we live in Arizona, we are surrounded on all sides by the greater Phoenix metropolitan area—unlikely a wild reptile wriggled in from the desert. It would probably be one of our resident serpents.

You see, my husband, Greg, an elementary school teacher, collected critters.

So my very logical response to Erin was “Who is it?”

“One of the black and white ones.”

Boy, was I ticked. I had recently flown to New Jersey to visit my parents. While I was gone, Greg went to a reptile show and treated himself to two desert California king snakes. I marched to the phone and called Greg’s classroom. “I just want you to know one of your new snakes is loose.”

“Hannah or Milo?” Greg asked.

“I don’t know.”

“Mom, it’s Milo,” said Erin, pointing to Milo’s tank with its screen lid ajar.

“It’s Milo. Someone left his lid open.”

“Where is he?”

“In the girls’ room. Erin found him in her jeans.”

“So, just put him back in the tank.”

“I’m not chasing a snake around! I have to go to work.” I knew from previous experience that I can’t pick up a snake. It’s not that they’re slimy. (They aren’t.) It’s just that they behave unpredictably, like standing up vertically. It creeps me out. I can’t deal with it. At least, not when I have a schedule to keep.

I wrote a note and taped it to the front door for then ten-year-old Katie, who would be the first one home after school. She also shared Erin’s bedroom.

Dear Katie,

Milo is loose. He was last seen in your room. Don’t worry, he won’t hurt you. I just don’t want you to be surprised.

Love,

Mommy

I chuckled to think what a potential burglar might think if he read this note. I guess I’ll rob the house next door instead.

When Greg got home from school, Milo was nowhere in sight. Greg offered a reward of $5 to whoever could find the snake. Katie and her friend Amber first sifted through all the clothes, toys and junk lying on the floor of her room. Then, they took all the stuff out of the closet. (When I insisted the girls put their clothes in the closet, of course they just kicked them to the floor of the closet. How convenient for a snake looking for a cozy place to coil up.) They spent two hours looking for Milo with no success.

Then thirteen-year-old Andy walked by and spotted him camouflaged among the miasma. Greg paid Andy the finder’s fee, and ended up paying Katie, too, for her effort.

Greg had to be the one to put Milo back in his tank. The rest of us were too scared. I’m sorry to say, all these years later, I still turn to others to take over when I’m afraid.

Have you ever been afraid of a pet? How did you handle your fear? Click on the Comment link below to leave a comment or see what others have written.

Photo by Gary Nafis. Permission to use the accompanying photo granted by this license.

Posted in Humor, Memoir, Pets | Tagged California King Snake, Doing Life Together, Fears, Pets, Snakes | 5 Comments

Celebrating the Small Stuff…by Linda Carlblom

Posted on September 19, 2014 by Linda Carlblom

At my house, we love to celebrate. We celebrate the usual stuff that most families do, like holidays and birthdays. But we also have been known to celebrate small victories like making it through a tough week (or sometimes even not so tough!), report cards (whether good or bad), a good dental check-up, or that a child finished a test in a difficult subject and now the stress of that is behind her.

It’s easy to get caught up in the busyness of life. We often rush from one thing to the next without a pause to stare wide-eyed at what we accomplished. Some things stand out large in our life picture, like a new book release or a job promotion, or straight A’s. But let’s face it, most of life is made up of smaller, but equally important accomplishments. These small things are what weave the very fabric of our lives. Zechariah 4:10 (NLT) states it this way, “Do not despise these small beginnings, for the LORD rejoices to see the work begin…”

So here are a few ideas to help you get your mind into celebration mode. Look for small things, small beginnings, to celebrate and keep your family’s attitude positive and upbeat. Things like:

The first sprout in your garden. Followed by the first harvest.
The first day of school.
A first tooth, and every tooth that falls out.
A positive note from a teacher.
A difficult report written.
Learning to ride a bike.
A good review at work.
An opportunity to share your faith.
The first day you start an exercise program.
A good mood.
A beautiful sunset.
A clean house.
The first time your baby sleeps through the night.
When your favorite TV show begins a new season.
A finished project.
Then there’s all those crazy, lesser-known holidays just dying to be celebrated. You can find a list of them here.

Now mind you, celebrations don’t have to be big or expensive. They can be as simple as putting on some music and dancing in the living room, packing a picnic and heading to the park, or having a compliment party where everyone takes a turn saying something nice about each person present.

Some of our small celebrations have turned into traditions. After doing yard work in the blazing heat, we always go to Sonic and get a Cream Slush. It refreshes us and gives us something to look forward to as we work. We’ve found ourselves saying as we work on a tough job, “This is going to call for a Cream Slush.” (Our favorite is the strawberry, in case you’re wondering.) It makes something not-so-fun into something fun.

The point is to pay attention to life’s positives. When we take time to stop and notice all our blessings, we’re apt to see more and more of them and it changes the trajectory of our lives. We become thankful and nicer to be around.

And believe me, that is a huge gift not only to our families, but to our own little corners of the world.

Share in the comments what types of things your family celebrates. How do you celebrate them?

Linda

Posted in Celebrations, Family Life, Uncategorized | Tagged blessings, celebrations, positive home life, small stuff, small victories, thankfulness, Weird holidays, Zechariah 4:10 | 2 Comments

The Garage of Doom . . . by Andrea R. Huelsenbeck

Posted on September 16, 2014 by Andrea R Huelsenbeck

The Garage of Doom

Please don’t judge me. I am about to share a source of great embarrassment for myself and my family.

In August of 1988, my husband and I and our then four children moved from New Jersey to Arizona. The day of our closing, we spent our first night in the house without any furniture.

The very next day Greg started his new job, leaving me to deal with the movers and the kids, who ranged in age from 21 months to 9 years.

At Greg’s suggestion, I instructed the movers to stack the boxes of stuff to one side of the garage, leaving ample space for us to park the car.

The movers ignored my instruction and dumped the boxes all throughout the garage.

During the next weeks, I found and unpacked the most critical boxes, in between registering Carly and Matt for school, finding a preschool for Erin, meeting the neighbors and familiarizing myself with our new surroundings. But are you familiar with the adage, new house, new baby? I soon discovered we were expecting child number 5, and my energy level plummeted. Unpacking took a back seat to just doing what needed to be done on a daily basis.

And of course, once the pregnancy was over, I had a newborn to take care of, and my rate of unpacking did not improve.

To this day, we have never yet parked a car in the garage.

Over the years, instead of the number of boxes in the garage decreasing, they multiplied, supplemented by bags and other random stuff. Sometimes when the kids were overwhelmed with the prospect of cleaning up their rooms, Greg would say, “Just bag up your stuff and put it in the garage. We’ll sort it out later.”

From time to time we valiantly attempted to deal with all the stuff. Once Greg lugged box after box of stuff out of the garage and into the driveway. Then a biker friend stopped by and invited him to take a ride. The call of the open road was stronger than Greg’s need for order, so he hopped on his Harley and told Carly to guard the stuff until he came back.

For the next hour, drivers stopped at the curb and asked Carly if we were having a garage sale. I finally had pity on her and moved everything back into the garage.

A couple of years ago, my twenty-something daughter Katie asked me, “Mom, when you and Dad die, what’s going to happen to all this stuff?”

I surveyed our vast empire and said, “Darling, when we’re gone, all this will be yours.”

Surprisingly, the look on her face was one of horror, not delight.

A friend of mine recently downsized to a smaller living space. She hired a professional organizer to help her whittle down her possessions. The professional asked her questions like “What’s the worst thing that could happen if you get rid of this?” They threw away everything that was truly garbage. Anything useful but superfluous the organizer put in her car, to be immediately deposited at Goodwill Industries after the session. When my friend got paralyzed by decisions like throw away or give to Goodwill, the organizer said, “Let Goodwill decide.” My friend calculated that she paid for 107 hours of assistance, at $25 a pop.

Since as of this writing I am still unemployed (see my previous post, In Transition), I theoretically have time to do things I couldn’t accomplish when I was teaching. And as horrifying as the accompanying photo is, I’ve actually made a sizable dent in this disaster.

I decided to benefit from my friend’s experience and save myself $2,675.00. At least once a week, I’ve been spending an hour chipping away at the clutter. I start with three doubled brown paper grocery bags. One for out-and-out garbage, one for recycling (you have no idea how many bags I’ve filled with papers from my grown children’s school days), and one to give away (a veterans’ organization sends a truck to our neighborhood on a regular basis; my goal is to always have something to give to them). I replenish the bags as necessary, usually filling as many as eight in a session.

Recently, I unearthed a couple of boxes that were part of that move from New Jersey. Inside were a number of family heirlooms—an Ethan Allen wall shelf I’ve been worrying about for decades, two needlepoint pillows that my late mother-in-law stitched, and an engraved silver cup that Greg’s Aunt Honey gave us when Carly was born thirty-five years ago. I feel great satisfaction that they have taken their rightful places inside our home.

Someday I hope to post a new photo on this blog—of our cars actually occupying the garage.

Do you have any suggestions to help this process go faster? Would you like to post a picture of your own garage? Click on the Comment link below to leave a comment or see what others have written.

Posted in Decluttering | Tagged Clutter, Decluttering, Doing Life Together, Garage, Organization | Leave a comment

The Next Thing…by Judy Robertson

Posted on September 12, 2014 by Judy Robertson

“The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing (Zephaniah 3:17 NIV).”

One of my weaknesses is failure to comprehend and accept the depth of God’s love for me, His imperfect child. Embracing His unconditional love often eludes me. Jesus, however, does not keep a score card of our failures. “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1 NIV).

When the disciples failed to stay awake and “keep watch” for Jesus, He didn’t chastise them, but said, “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak…Rise! Let us go!” He’s telling us not to let our imperfections get us down but get up and start on the next thing.

Peter “broke down and wept” (Mark 14:72 NIV) when he recognized he’d so carelessly denied his Lord. But Jesus didn’t hold this against him and later told Peter, “Feed my sheep.” Peter did not become paralyzed by his failure. He did what Jesus instructed him to do. He did the next thing.

I’ve discovered that when I look back and despair over what I didn’t do and perhaps worry over what I think I can’t accomplish, it’s the start of a downward spiral that leads to depression. I need help remembering Jesus’ admonition to His disciples to “Watch and pray” because we are vulnerable to temptation even when we desire to do right.

As Jesus needed His disciples to pray, so we need others to pray with us as we face our Gethsemanes. Because we really are, “Doin’ Life Together,” I depend on my dear friends, writers who are traveling this journey with me to watch and pray. Time and again they have not only prayed, but have been there encouraging me in the next step God has planned for my life. And so I am, “Forgetting what is hehind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13 NIV).

Posted in Life Transitions, weakness | Tagged despair, failure, friendship group, imperfect, weakness | 9 Comments

In Transition . . . by Andrea R Huelsenbeck

Posted on September 5, 2014 by tuesdayschildren100

Until a few months ago, I was an elementary music teacher.

Whenever I told people what my job was, they usually responded with something like, “That sounds like a lot of fun.” And it was.

But few people understand how demanding teaching music really is. I had a curriculum to teach. I had performances to prepare. If I wanted to take students on a field trip or have professional musicians come to school, I also needed to apply for grants to pay for it. I had to practice my own musical skills. And there are all the additional duties and volunteering which teachers are expected to do.

A teacher is never done. There’s planning to do, parents to call, papers to correct, web pages to update. There are meetings to attend, colleagues to collaborate with, professional development requirements to complete. And just when you think you’re hitting your stride, there are paradigm shifts in educational philosophy.

I was exhausted.

My husband, who had retired from teaching years ago, said, “Quit!”

It took me three years to take his advice.

Why so long? I wanted to line up a new job first. But there were few job openings for my skill set that paid more than minimum wage.

Finally, my fatigue became so debilitating that I dreaded teaching another year. I reluctantly submitted my resignation.

I am at peace with that decision.

I set a goal for myself—a new job by July 1^st. Not a teaching job. A job where, at the end of the day, you don’t have to do anything work related until your next shift.

When my deadline passed and I had no new job, I began to panic. Would our modest savings be enough to pay bills until I had a salary again?

I feel like a woman without an identity. I’ve devoted more than twelve years of my life to teaching music. Now I’m not a teacher anymore. Who the heck am I?

Friends who had experienced a jobless phase told me to relax and embrace my time off. This was an opportunity to do things I hadn’t done in a while—quilting, writing, taking an art class. I should refresh myself after all those years of stress. What a nice idea, but how could I enjoy myself when I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing?

Now that it’s the end of August, I’m feeling a little calmer. I’ve painted a room, and I’m setting up a study for myself. Then I’m going to paint my old study and turn it into a guest room.

And the job search is off and running. In the first few weeks after my resignation, I applied for more jobs than I had in the previous three years. There are more job openings out there now.

But everything happens remotely. Resumes are emailed. Applications are submitted online. If you’re lucky, you get an email acknowledgement, often containing a sentence like Due to the volume of applicants, you will not receive notification from us unless you are selected to interview. Interviews are conducted by phone. Then you get an email that says, After careful review, this position has been filled by another applicant whose work background and skills more closely fit our current need.

I know God isn’t finished with me yet. My daily prayer is that He will lead me to exactly what He wants me to do. I’m trying not to be terrified while I wait.

Have you ever been between jobs? How did you handle the uncertainty? Click on “Comment” just below to leave a comment.

Posted in Life Transitions | Tagged Changing Jobs, Life Transitions | 6 Comments

Doing Life Together

Posted on September 2, 2014 by tuesdayschildren100

Tuesday’s Children, our writer’s critique group, held its first weekly meeting roughly 20 years ago. Its purpose was to sharpen our writing skills through critique and encouragement. We write in many different genres, span decades in our ages, and are of varying marital statuses. The one thing that binds our group of roughly seven women is that we all want to glorify God in our writing and our lives. When we first started meeting, we didn’t know we would become one another’s lifelines that would keep us afloat in life’s rough waters.

Every Tuesday morning we gather to share coffee, sometimes tears, and always laughter. We’ve gotten one another through problems with children, debilitating illnesses, financial stress, deaths of loved ones, marriage breakups, and mental illness. Our feelings have been hurt, shared, and soothed. We’ve laughed ‘til we cried at stories of our children and grandchildren, airport mix-ups, writer’s conference memories, and jokes played on each other. But most importantly, we are simply present in each others’ lives, no matter what.

Prayer is a part of every meeting and is as vital as the manuscript critiquing we do. It allows us to be vulnerable and share the tough spots in our lives, receive immediate prayer support, and leave knowing God is already at work on the problem.

This is life at its richest—sharing it with close friends who point you to God.

I pray you have such a friendship group. But whether you do or not, this blog is for you. We want you to share in the hope and encouragement we’ve found, not only in each other, but in God. We’ll share our joys and struggles and you can share yours. We’ll even update you on our writing projects as they come along. So if you’re feeling blue today or if you’re riding cloud nine, you’re not alone. Let’s connect through this blog and share the journey. C’mon. Let’s do life together!