You know when you think your kid is perfectly capable of using the toilet, but he’s still having accidents, and you think he’s doing it on purpose or out of laziness?

Back 30+ years ago when I was going through this with my kids, my friend Vivian had the perfect cure.

Underpants.

Now, back in my day, we didn’t have pull-ups, but we had “training pants,” thick underwear, sometimes terrycloth, that theoretically would absorb liquid. But they leaked.

Vivian’s answer was REAL underpants. Nice ones. In fact, she believed in it so confidently that she took my middle daughter shopping and treated her to several gorgeous pairs. She never ever wet them.

It worked so well that after we moved to Arizona and Vivian came out to visit, I asked her to take my younger son shopping for some. She enthusiastically complied, and he came home with cool Underoos, which also never got wet.

This memory just came back to me, and I’m sharing it because some other mother might be facing this transition in her life. I think part of the magic of this solution is that it was administered by a beloved family friend rather than Mom. For what it’s worth—take it or leave it.